A joyful, seasonal holiday, created by those clever people in Atlanta to convince christian Polar Bears to drink Coca-Cola. So successful, that global operations are now directed by Father Chris Mass from his HQ in Lapland and managed by his team of vertically challenged, pointy eared interns.
In super scientific tests, we found that ‘Christmas’ had a 99.9% awareness and could be identified by the sudden and erratic downloads of last minute data from Bankaccountsoftheworld.com – resulting in the mass wrapping of presents to (good and very, very bad) loved ones. Present stocks traditionally leave Lapland’s DC on 24th December and are fulfilled using the Rudolph Chimney Funnel ‘ Just in time’ system.
This is a day not to be missed, according to Vivid Brand’s two Wise Men: